The Turd's Eye View

(Chris has come up with lots of ideas seeing this title, mostly involving toilet habits, but as you’ve probably guessed it’s about our month in the campervan…)

A disgruntled vehicle from Auckland writes:

Ahhhh….winter, the time of year when a motorhome can look forward to some peace and quiet tucked up in the depot with his mates, out of the elements for a few months, recharging the batteries. But alas my summer season 2008 was extended as this family showed up looking for a camper for a whole month =:-0 Not only were there a couple of ankle biters with them but some weird dude with long hair too who I later found out was the main driver – yikes! Not only that but the other guy came up with name ‘Big White Turd’ – I’ve been called some things in my time but really. Then they threw ALL their stuff in the back...

After they picked me up though they did take me out to McDonalds car park for lunch and I got a nice view of Auckland as the seagulls sat (sp?) on me outside Kelly Tarlton’s. From here it was non-stop I tell you. Up to Northland for some exciting driving, although I was pretty lonely in the campgrounds up there – but what do you expect when you go to a place with a giant fish on the sign – how embarrassing…

The Coromandel was cool too, but I must object to people coming back from the beach and filling my water tank with sand in the shower. They did wash off the back window though (so they could see out!) so I suppose that was some consolation. The little rugrats sat up front for some of the journey there to give their mum a break so she could read her book in peace in the back:

Next stop was Rotorua where I got parked on the drive while they went off in someone else’s car to see the sights and left me all alone (I got my own back though that night though as my batteries were too low to work the heating ha ha) They wised up for the last night and took me to a swanky Top 10 campground while they went out to the Hangi. By the way I do like the Top 10 chain – you do meet a classier type of camper there. We drove across to Waitomo after that to see some glow-worms but I wasn’t allowed to go in the caves, then Taupo and another lovely Top 10 park for a couple of days. I got to sit at the lakefront while they went to the cinema. Then we were off again over the hills to Hastings, all navigated by the wonderful second-in-command:

After a trip to the beach:

We went to the mountains, which were a bit cold – the heater on full blast all the time – but it was all good fun (and wet ski gear to dry). Here’s a snap of the hippy chap, we got on pretty well despite that hair and the glasses. He did seem to have some sort of ‘trucker’ fixation though – kept going on about air brakes and reversing beeps. Oh and how many times do I need to say it – STATIONARY FOR FIRST GEAR!

Man and Van:

So that was pretty much it – I had a few more nights on someone’s front lawn (do you know, I’ve never been to Maymorn before? Quite charming…) then a last clean out…

…and they took me back to the depot at Wellington where I met up with a couple of me old mates. All in all not a bad trip and although the kids were a bit scary what with slamming the doors all the time, the painting on the table and their choice of DVD, we all got along pretty well and I got back without any new dents! Who – hoo!

See ya
Best wishes
BWT xxxx